Yes, it’s true. Not only does the famous Cat-Baby of New York exist, but it lives somewhere within the catacombs of my East Side neighborhood.

Now I’m sure you’re asking yourself, “what the hell is a Cat-Baby, and if it’s so famous, how come I haven’t heard of it?”

We’ll, it’s hard to describe. No one has actually ever seen the Cat-Baby. Its lonesome, howling cry is the only recognizable imprint it offers to the world.

And it’s probable that you’ve never heard of the Cat-Baby, because I only just dubbed this thing “Cat-Baby” sometime last week.

The Cat-Baby is a mysterious creature that lives across the street from me. Although, I don’t have a clue as to where, or in what direction. Its yelps seem to generate from an ever-changing array of hovering alley-ways.

Every night, around 3 AM, I am greeted from outside my apartment window with the high-pitched squeal, “...eeeEEyyuuu…EEyyuhhh….” A wickedly bizarre, inhuman concoction of equal parts “Meow” and “Waaahhh!!!”

This wail also reappears in the morning to supplement my radio-alarm clock right before work.

What the hell is this thing???

At first I thought it was a couple having sex. A very TINY couple.

Then I wondered if it was some old woman chained to a rusty hospital bed, like in a Steven King novel.

Well, the truth is that it’s clearly not either of these, and it sure as hell aint not cat, and it definitely aint no baby.

It’s a fucking Cat-Baby.

eeeeYYuuu…EEEEyuuu..!!

Many of you who have been reading K-Blog since last year might remember that I had a similar predicament involving a rooster in my hood, crowing at the most ungodly of hours. But, you know, those are easy to track down. There’re ordinances against roosters in the city. But, as I recall, I don’t think there are any laws protecting the larger sleeping public against screaming cat-babies.

There’s not much I can do, except to put up with it. It’s more strangely intriguing than it is annoying. (not to say that it ISN’T annoying, which it most definitely is)

But, anyway, here is a picture of what I imagine this mutant Manhattanite looks like. If any of you happens to see this thing during your midnight stroll, please alert the authorities. My all-too-short dream-time will thank you.